Festival

When Generosity Turns People into Human ATMs

Hope Ejairu

By Hope Ejairu, with agency reports

Tunde Koleosho sat in his car at the car park, waiting for the car heater to warm up inside before driving home. Winter has been extraordinarily cold this time in the United States. It has been a very busy second shift for him at the auto plant. He almost missed a car part while moving it to another conveyer. It would have been another write up with his job at risk. His phone rang. He allowed it to ring, without picking it up, starting his engine at the same time. The phone rang again. He ignored it again, continuing the 30 minutes’ drive to the house. At home, Tunde checked the phone. Six missed calls. Several text messages. It should be 8am over there, he thought to himself. It’s 3am for him. He must go to bed and wake up at 6am to prepare the children for school. He read the text messages. All requesting money to take care of one thing or the other. He received a deluge of messages daily. Tunde shook his head. He has become an Automated Teller Machine, ATM to so many people, Tunde thought to himself. Every day is the same. Uncountable text messages from those with his phone number. Those he doesn’t even know overwhelmed his Facebook messenger. Tunde climbed into his bed, imagining the picture of a human ATM as he drifted into sleep.

“How is he doing now?’ Efua Asare, a nurse in Houston, Texas asked the person she was speaking to on the phone. It was her mother. The two years old son lives with Efua’s mother in Africa. She receives calls every day from her mother concerning different things about her son – medical reasons, kindergarten school, clothes, even though she sends clothes regularly and many more. She recently discovered that whenever her two stepbrothers or cousins living with her mother need money, they ask her mother, who then invents a story to get the money from her.

“Givers never lack” is a popular saying that has resonated with many for generations. For some people, giving is more than an act of charity; it is a source of fulfillment that comes from easing the burdens of others, not because they possess wealth in abundance. Yet, as economic hardship deepens and financial pressures mount, the kindness of many generous individuals is increasingly being exploited, turning them into what can best be described as human ATMs.

An Automated Teller Machine (ATM) is a computerised electronic banking device that enables customers to carry out basic financial transactions, including cash withdrawals, deposits, and balance enquiries, without interacting with a bank teller. However, some people now treat generous friends, relatives, and acquaintances as endless sources of cash — approaching them whenever money is needed, often under false pretenses.

While genuine financial emergencies exist, a growing number of people admit to fabricating stories or exaggerating their circumstances to secure money, only to spend it on entirely different things. Their actions have left many questioning whether generosity is being abused.

A mass communication graduate, Jessica Onodugo, condemned the practice, describing it as dishonest, manipulative, and exploitative.

According to her, she has never taken advantage of another person’s generosity, regardless of the relationship she shares with them.

“I see it as fraud, emotional manipulation, and taking advantage of people. It is wrong in every sense,” she said.

Onodugo acknowledged that Nigeria’s economic situation has become increasingly difficult and that many people struggle to earn a stable income. However, she noted that social media has also contributed to unrealistic perceptions of wealth, with many people portraying luxurious lifestyles that do not reflect reality.

“While emergencies may push some people into difficult situations, lying to obtain money for frivolous things is wrong. It isn’t easy to make money,” she said.

Onodugo argued that exploiting kind-hearted people demonstrates a lack of integrity, accountability, and empathy, especially when such individuals give from the fruits of their hard work.

Although she has assisted several people financially, Onodugo remarked that she could not say with certainty whether any of them had deceived her.

“I haven’t done it before. I don’t know if someone has done it to me because, when I give, I usually don’t concern myself with how the money is eventually spent,” she said. “The least I can do is check on the person afterwards to be sure they are okay or that the issue has been resolved.”

A Nigerian sports journalist, Taiwo Ibrahim, stated that people are not always sincere about the reasons they seek financial assistance.

“They will ask you for money for something you believe is urgent or important, only to spend it on something entirely different,” Ibrahim decried.

He particularly criticized beneficiaries who feel entitled to repeated assistance without appreciating the sacrifices made by those helping them. “Nothing you ever give them is enough. They don’t care whether you had to inconvenience yourself just to help them. They will still come back asking for more.”

Recalling a personal experience earlier this year, Ibrahim revealed that a woman requested financial assistance, claiming she needed support for her father’s burial.

“I sent her the money. Later, she told me the burial had been postponed. A few weeks afterwards, when I asked how it went, she claimed their vehicle developed an engine fault at Prayer City on their way to the burial, so they could not continue. I knew she was not telling the truth.”

He emphasized that such experiences make it increasingly difficult for genuinely needy people to receive help, as many donors become more skeptical of requests for financial assistance.

While some have been victims of deception, others openly admitted that they had once misrepresented their circumstances to obtain money.

A business administrator, Abel Victor (a pseudonym), recalled asking a friend for ₦4,000 in June 2026, claiming he needed transportation fare to attend a meeting.

“I ended up spending the money on lunch instead. I was extremely hungry and felt I had no other choice,” he admitted.

Similarly, a writer, who requested anonymity, confessed that as an undergraduate in 2023, she asked her father for ₦25,000, claiming she needed to buy books and other school materials.

Instead, she spent the money on food, mobile data, and online subscriptions.

“I wasn’t due to buy books or pay any school fees. I simply used school as an excuse to get the money I wanted,” she acknowledged.

A university student, Blessing Abel (a pseudonym), also shared a similar experience.

She recalled that in 2023, she asked her brother for money, claiming she needed transportation and other expenses to attend an interview for a part-time job.

However, after receiving the money, she spent it on groceries, including cornflakes, milk, and bread.

Their admissions reveal that financial deception is not always driven by luxury or extravagance. In some cases, it stems from immediate needs or poor financial decisions. Nevertheless, they also highlight how easily trust can be abused when generosity is mistaken for an unlimited resource.

Ultimately, generosity remains one of humanity’s greatest virtues. However, kindness should never become an invitation for manipulation. Every dishonest request erodes the trust that sustains genuine acts of compassion, making it harder for those who truly need help to receive it.

In a society where economic hardship continues to test both givers and receivers, honesty and gratitude remain just as valuable as generosity itself.

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New Americans Magazine
Deba Uwadiae is an international journalist, author, global analyst, consultant, publisher and Editor-in-Chief of the New Americans Magazine Group, Columbus, Ohio. He is a member of the Ohio Legislative Correspondents Association, OCLA.

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